Dear God

Okay, so these cream colored walls are closing in around me. I don't know how much more I can take. I feel like I can't breathe sometimes. I feel my chest pounding and I just can't hold back the tears. I cried so hard yesterday I could have filled the ocean. I can't stand to see my mom in this shape. I hate seeing her frail body being rolled this way and turned that way. The pain she is in from all the broken bones....her stomach cut from top to bottom. She gets so discouraged and that makes it worse. She forgets every time she goes to sleep what happened. It's like the movie 50 First Dates....we re live it everyday. Losing my dad last year was one of the worst things to ever happen to me but this is just as bad. I want her to get up out of that bed and go home. I need some support....maybe a hug or two. I need a shoulder to cry on. I just need to wake up and all this be over