Jaylee's Bday

Today was my Jaylee bug's 10th birthday....as she has been running around screaming "double digits...oh yeah". This girl of mine is a hoot. She makes me laugh even on my darkest days. I love her so much. I remember the moment they placed her in my arms. I couldn't believe how beautiful she was. She was such a good baby but a very sick baby. I can't count her hospital visits or the nights we were up with her. She had her first urinary tract infection at three weeks old and from then it was just sickness after sickness. I believe the sickest I have seen her is the time she had strep throat and mono at the same time. Shew, the feelings we as mothers have when our babies are sick. To this day poor thing is still sick at least once a month. As a matter of fact we were just at the doctor this week. Anyway, she is ten now and that blows my mind. She decided she wanted to have a slumber party and go bowling. Wow, this has been an adventure. Little girls running up and down the stairs all night long yelling and laughing. I was a bit on edge but at the same time it made me think back to when I was that age. I am loving to see her turn into this beautiful, intelligent, and caring young lady. She has such a huge heart and honestly cares for others. She has hit the age where she worries about what she looks like. She loves makeup and fixing her hair. She is such a little beauty queen not to mention "drama" queen. She is also an artist at heart. I wish I could post some of the artwork she has done. She can draw anything she wants. It amazes me. I can't even draw a stick man. Yep, she is a well rounded little girl. She has it all going for her if she will just stick to her guns and keep her head on straight. If I have anything to do with it she will. I will push her to reach for the stars and chase her dreams. Jaylee Madison I love you with all of my heart.

Sadness

Today has been one of the worst days I have had in awhile. I knew when I rolled out of bed it wasn't going to be a good day. Just seems things started off wrong and then it snowballed out of control. I had planned to go shopping today for Jay's 10th birthday which is in a couple of weeks. I couldn't even get out the door for poor Hallie puking on her self and her clothes. She was so fussy and cried literally all day long. On the way to Bowling Green I was kinda in a hurry to get to my appointment at the car dealership. I didn't even realize how fast I was going until I saw the blue lights in the mirror....yay me! Now I gotta choke up 175 freakin dollars for a speeding ticket. At the dealership I learn that the hub cap that flew off of my tire couldn't be put back on due to some stupid reason the guy came up with. He told me I would have to order a new one which is almost 100 dollars....even though they just POP ON! Oh, so mine for some odd reason won't pop back on?? Yeah right. Nice way to go Mr. dealership guy....take me for some money. Hallie is still crying...bottle....diaper change.....kisses.....still crying. My 19 year old bi polar child decides to have a melt down over the fact that I am not rich enough to go out and buy her a car for her birthday which is in three weeks as well. I am a worthless mom who won't let her live her own life....although she can't even get a job to buy her own car. I continue my hunt for a vanity for Jay....which turns up empty. Evidently no one makes these cute little things anymore. I can't find the rainboots she wants either....after scowering at least 20 stores. I realize at last minute that I am not going to make it home in time to get Jaylee off the bus so I freak out and call the school. I have to make arrangements for them to keep her until I can get back to pick her up. Hallie...still crying. The smell in the van....horrible. Pull over on interstate....poop everywhere. Hal has managed to explode through her clothes and onto the car seat. Wow... Now back to get Jay and then Wal mart for groceries. Big mistake. My two daughters 9 and 19 decide to have a major battle in the parking lot. There is screaming, crying, fingers pointing....and a crowd is gathering. I have other moms looking at me like I have just won terrible mom of the year award. I am now waiting on child protective services to sweep in and take them away. Hallie....still screaming. Middle of walmart Jaylee yelps "Hallie just projectile vomited all over her self and me!!!! Great now we need to change clothes...again. My feet are hurting and my back is having multiple spasms. Sarah decides to have another meltdown because according to her I baby Jaylee all of the time. She takes off on her own making faces at me as she walks away. Can I please just go home? At home no one wants to help get the groceries out of the van, the baby is still crying, and I am having a breakdown. Sarah is telling me how much she hates me, Jaylee is crying cause she has homework she does not understand, and I realize the dog has been in her crate all day and is sitting in a puddle of urine. Okay, so I give up. Forget the dishes in the sink, the bottles that need to be sterilized, the laundry that is climbing the walls, the two discussions I need to post for school, the dog that reaks of urine, the screaming kids.....I am going to hibernate. I go to my room, shut the door, fall on the bed, and I cry. I cry like a baby because I miss my daddy, I miss my mom, I feel defeated, I am a horrible mother, I have no one to call....and the baby has pooped again. Calgon please take me away!!

This is me

I happened to find this on "we heart it" which I absolutely love! This is a room I need in my home. It is me....and it makes me happy just to look at it! Notice the Walton's playing on the tv! Boy does that bring back memories.

A tad bit of sadness

Well, here I lay in this big bed with my little Hallie beside me kicking away and oohing and awwing at everything she sees. I can't get out of bed because I am still a little sore and my shoulder is killing me. I had surgery yesterday morning and I am a wimp. I had surgery a couple of weeks ago to remove placenta and blood clots that remained after birth. That was an experience. Yesterday I had a tubal ligation so that no more babies arrive. I must say Kyle and I decided this was the best decision for us since we already have five children between us. The financial aspect is what determined our decision. I have to say that today I am a little sad. I know we do not need anymore kids and it was the best decision but the reality that I cannot have them saddens me a bit. Now I know that I am gonna spoil miss Hallie to pieces. She is my last baby and I am going to enjoy every single minute with her. This decision has also led to our deciding that I am not going back to work for at least her first two years of life. Hopefully, if I do go back then I will have a job that she can go with me. I am currently studying psychology and hope to get a job in social services or in the mental health field. I won't graduate until June 2013 so this should work out pretty good. It is really quiet here today. Just me and Hallie bear hanging out...sleeping and being completely lazy. Sarah is at a friends and Jake and Jay are at school. Kyle is at work and I miss him bunches. Life has really been throwing me curve balls for the past few years and I am just starting to realize I have to roll with the punches. With all that happened wit my mom life just seems quite unfair. I pretty much lost everything to take care of her in hopes that she would return to normal. After a year of caring for her she now lives in a nursing home and everything I did was really for nothing. She did get almost 90% better physically but mentally she just didn't improve. Her sister decided that with my having a baby and not being able to focus on her anymore she would be better off where they could give her 24 hour care. My mom and her confused state believes I had her put there and that I am the reason for everything bad that has happened to her. I haven't seen or spoke to her since she was admitted. It breaks my heart. My daughter Sarah is giving me fits. She is my bipolar child. That should explain it all but let me say I never imagined things would get this bad between us. I have raised her for almost 20 years. I have fought her battles for her. Raised caine at school for her education. I have been there for her heartbreaks and breakdowns. The older she has gotten the more determined she has gotten to drive me insane. She has runaway a few times in the past year and thinks she is capable of taking care of herself....when she can't even manage money. I saved her from a 20year sentence for fraud and I get no thanks. She is gone again today and I am sure I will have to get the cops to get her back home. My son is living with my aunt for the school year so he can graduate from Allen county...where he has been his entire life. I had to move us to another county when I finally found a big enough house to move mom in with us. It breaks my heart that I never get to see him. When he isn't at school he is working so it leaves no time for mom. My nine year old has all of a sudden acquired this nasty attitude. She has always been my baby and spoiled rotten but now I see her pulling away and I too am backing up a little. We were so close but for some reason she is acting like..well...a brat. She back talks and has negative reactions to everything I ask her to do. I am about at my wits end! I don't know what to do to pull this home back together and get some form of sanity. I know winter is at the door and I know the depression will be back which will just add to the drama that is our household. I hate having SAD which is as real as real gets. Kyle says he is buying me one of those fake lights to help with my vitamin D this year....doubt it works. Seems that I miss my daddy so much this time of year and no light or medicine seems to cure that. I just know if he were still around things would be much better. I know I have to be strong...stronger than all of this craziness going on around me. I have kids who are looking up to me and a husband who deserves a happy wife. If it wasn't for him I probably wouldn't have made it through this last year anyway. I guess I have said enough for one day....I am gonna get off of here and probably go back to sleep for a bit. It is a great day for that here. Rainy and gloomy.

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all. - Oscar Wilde

This has got to be one of the most honest statements ever. I know for me it is. I have told myself so many times to quit existing and start LIVING! Why do we as humans do this? I feel I have always let my mistakes drag me down. Those I made even when I was young still torture me. It seems I can't live for the mistakes in my past. I want to get past all of this. I want to be able to live out loud. Kyle and I had a long talk this weekend about this very issue. He makes so much sense to me. He tries his best to pull me up out of the funk I seem to get in so often. I know life is short and I know I need to just let go of the small things....and even not so small things. I need to start enjoying the small things. So from now on everyday I am going to find something that makes me appreciate life a little more. I'm gonna make sure to hug my kids and let them know how much they mean to me. I'm gonna make sure Kyle knows how much he is appreciated. This is my goal.

Oh those long sleepless nights

Okay, so I somehow pushed my memories of those long sleepless nights with sick babies to the very back of my mind. What was I thinking? It was gonna be a perfect ride? Since we just got out of the hospital with a viral illness on Monday I figured maybe we would have a few weeks of good health? Boy was I wrong. Hallie decided she wasn't going to sleep last night and even when she did she woke up every few minutes crying. I knew something wasn't right but I do know that her lungs are functioning very well! I called my good old pediatrician Dr. Lowry and told him if he didn't do something to help me I was going to find the nearest bridge and jump...ha just kidding. Turns out little lady has an ear infection and I'm talking a large ear infection. Tylenol and Amoxicillin is on the way Hallie girl. Tylenol in a little one brings much needed relief for a sleepless mommy. So, I am sure this is just the beginning of many sleepless nights ahead so I am gearing up and eating my wheaties.
Becca

Sick baby!

I have been sick for a few days...coughing, sneezing, and fever. Hal woke up this morning crying and very fussy. She started running a fever mid morning so I called the pediatrician. She told me to bring her in to the hospital because a baby this young did not need to have a fever. After lab work, caths, and a few tests they ended up admitting her to the hospital. So, we are sitting here with my precious baby hooked up to IV's. It's going to be a long weekend. There is no worse feeling in the world than knowing your baby is sick and there is nothing you can do to make her better. I am so lucky to have a husband like Kyle...always here for me. He has never once failed at being there for me when I have needed him. I love him so much. I am so thankful to have him in my life. Well, we are going to hang out here with all the sickos for the weekend and hopefully miss Hallie will be better soon.

Hallie's two week check up

Well Miss Hallie had her two week check up this morning. Dr. Lowry says she looks great! She weighs 7lb 7oz so she is really gaining weight! She is having some problems with my breast milk. Seems she is spitting up most of her meals. Dr. Lowry added some formula as a supplement. We will see how it goes. She still gets up every two hours at night and most nights stays up from 2am to 4 or 5am. She loves to cuddle and has been smiling quite often. She looks just like her daddy...seems I see more of him in her everyday. I love her so much......to the moon and back!

two weeks!

Sweet Hallie Raygan in her two week pics taken by my cousin Heather.

a little about Hallie

Hallie is amazing! She is such a little sweetheart. She does have her own attitude already! She doesn't sleep as much as a newborn usually does. She is very alert to her surroundings. She hasn't been too fussy. She usually whimpers when she is hungry but doesn't cry out. She doesn't even cry over her dirty diapers....but she does not like to be changed. She loves taking a bath. She loves to be held but not moved around too much. She likes it when her daddy walks with her....which is spoiling her rotten. At night we really bond. She wakes up at 2am and stays up until about 5 or so. She grunts a lot which none of my others did. To me she is perfect....especially that beautiful hair! I could just sit and look at her all of the time. Jaylee is totally in love with her. There isn't any jealousy at all. She asks to help with her all of the time. She takes tons of pictures of her and shows them to her friends at school. Sarah tries to hold her every chance she gets and Jake loves to play with her when he makes it home. Hallie came into our lives and she brought much happiness with her. I can't wait to watch her grow and savor the happiness ahead!

Surgery?? Oh my!

So I have been having some terrible pains in my abdomen since Hal's birth. I thought maybe this was just normal after pains. It has been over nine years since I had a baby so what the heck do I know? I called my OB-GYN to tell him the symptoms I was having which have been extreme heavy bleeding, deathly cramps, and an abdomen that appears to still be carrying a nine month long pregnancy. He told me to get on in to see him. Well lucky me....none of these are normal and I am headed for surgery this evening. What a shock...not with my wonderful luck. He did an ultrasound and it seems there is still some things in my uterus that should not be there. Now how does that happen?? Kyle is freaking out....the kids are freaking out.....I my friend am freaking out. I just went through 11 hours of labor pains and now I get to go back in the hospital and have my uterus scraped. Sounds fun huh? Well, I'm going to pack and getting ready to head on in. Wish me luck!

Another year...a new school

Today is Jaylee Madison's first day of school and it is of all things in a new school system. We had to move at the end of last school year due to needing more space for my mom. Jaylee dreaded this all summer long. I know she is such an intelligent and funny kid and she shouldn't have any trouble fitting in. She on the other hand feels she will be ostracized (her own words). I have learned this child of mine might need some couseling for her anxiety issues. She has such an imagination and when things happen she jumps to the extreme. Things in her head are so much worse than reality. So anyway, I'm in the hospital with Hallie and it's the first year since Jay started school that I can not take her on her first day. My heart is broken and so is hers. I have to leave it to my 19 year old to get her ready and my 17 year old to get her to school. She is not happy with this decision. She lets me know that Sarah can not dress her or she will look like a misfit and her brother can not by any means drop her off in his "station wagon". That would be detrimental to her. After at least 30 phone calls to me and hours of whining and tears shed I finally talked her into just going with the flow. Although I missed her leaving I was there to see her get off the bus. I listened very intently as she told me about her adventures of her first day as an Austin Tracy Eagle. She really had fun and met some new friends....just as I had told her she would. She loves her new teachers and thinks this is going to be a great year. My heart felt so happy. I love to see happiness in her eyes. The last nine years with her have been very emotional. I thought she was going to be my last child so I put every effort forth to enjoy every little minute with her. It is sad in ways to think you will never experience those emotions again but little did I know that I would change my mind and we would have another little miracle. Now...here I go again knowing this IS my last child so I am pouring myself into every minute with Hallie. Ya know maybe all parents should look at each child like it is their last one because it makes the moments shared so much more endearing and meaningful!! Anyway, I am thankful my Jay bug survived another "first day" and she actually enjoyed it. I am looking forward to sharing this year with her and many more to follow.

Eat, Pee, Poop, Sleep...and repeat

Oh the first few exciting days after bringing baby home.....No sleep for mommy! I decided with this baby to breastfeed...what a decision. Miss Hallie is a very hungry little gal. She stays on the boob from sun up to sunset. I am not exaggerating here. I never knew my boobs could be so sore or so large. I also didn't know that they could leak that much...especially when I attempt to go out in public (which I must say is very difficult while breastfeeding). I have pretty much sat on the couch with my ever present boppy attached to my side with little Hal on top of it. I have become an avid t.v. watcher over the last few days. Learning to use my pump has become the highlight of the day. I must say the look on Kyle's face was priceless when he walked in on me holding those cone shaped little things attached to each boob. This little critter of mine has a schedule of eating, peeing, pooping, and sleeping. This schedule repeats itself all day long...and all night long minus the sleeping part. She happens to require lots of food and little sleep. That is okay because we love our bonding time at 2am watching repeat episodes of House Hunters. I may complain but honestly I wouldn't trade a minute even if it is at the butt crack of dawn. So, as I end this I would like to tell you a few things that "they" don't tell you about breastfeeding!!

**Your first experience breastfeeding may not be what you expected! As you lay there trying to recover from the watermelon sized baby you just expelled from your loins a nurse takes your boob and shoves it into your watermelon's mouth and just like that you two are glued together and it happens even though you have no clue what you are doing.
**No matter how many "breastfeeding" books you read no one can prepare you for the journey ahead or the fact that your boobs are going to become a public display(to visitors, nurses, housekeeping, lactation consultants, even the neighbor next door who comes in your room by accident)the days following birth. (And I was one that never let the girls see the day of light!)
**It hurts! Oh yeah, I know there was a few times I cringed. I just held my breath until I got her latched on right. The nipples...well they crack and cracking hurts. So, stock pile some lanolin cause it works.
**Be prepared to feed 95% of the day...at least my little one does. She is latched on to me all day and night. Grab whatever you need before you start feeding....something to drink, the remote, the phone, a book.....maybe even a potty chair! Just kidding on that one.
**Be prepared for everyone to give you "their opinion" on "your" breastfeeding. Just know that everyone is an expert or at least they think they are.
**Know that chances are when you hear another little lovely even if he or she is not yours that your boobs kick into mommy milk making time and there is nothing you can do...so carry extra boob pads.

These are just a few of the surprises that I learned....and there are many more. However these are little sacrifices to pay. The rewards of breastfeeding are much higher. The most enjoyable thing for me is looking into my sweetie's eyes while she lovingly gazes back at me. It is such an amazing feeling. So if you are thinking about it go for it. I am so glad I did!

hallie"s sweet arrival

Sorry I haven't written in a few weeks but once again life took over. I'm gonna dedicate myself to writing on here at least once a week...hopefully more. Good news... I went into the hospital this morning at 5am and was induced. After eleven hours of labor at 4:36pm miss Hallie Raygan Bryant made her first appearance in the world. I must say the joy and happiness that overwhelmed me was astounding. The tears flowed down my face as I looked into her angelic face. She was finally in my arms after nine long months of waiting and wondering. She is just amazing! Although they told us she was going to be a quite large baby (they guessed almost 10lbs) she weighed in at only 6lb. 9oz. and was 21 inches long. She has "long" golden blonde hair and deep blue eyes. Absolutely gorgeous! So this blog will be in large amounts about my life with Hallie.....not to mention the other three rugrats that I have. I'm sure there will be laughter, tears, happiness, and a large amount of craziness!!! Tune back in for a hearty helping of Hallie!! I'm looking forward to the journey ahead and all the ups and downs of motherhood.

June update

Sorry I haven't been writing too much lately. Seems I'm just not dedicated to it right now. I have so much going on with the baby, mom, and the kids. It seems there is always something happening. Mom has to be admitted to the hospital every few weeks and that keeps me busy. She just keeps getting infections that can't be resolved at home. Her memory is not getting any better...I actually think it might be worse. The pregnancy is going okay as far as no more bleeding or cramps. I do stay very tired and I know I am moody as can be. I cry all of the time...over nothing. I don't get to sleep well especially at night. I am up using the bathroom 7 and 8 times. School work is really keeping my busy and on my toes. Writing essay papers at my age is a mountain to climb! I do have a 4.0 GPA right now which is something I am very proud of. I only wish my dad were here to be proud of me. I have really missed him here lately. I have missed a lot of things here lately. I'm not saying life is horrible at all. I am blessed for what all I do have. Kyle has been so great. He really supports me no matter what I am facing. He makes me a better person. We went and had our pics made recently. My cousin Heather is always so good to us. I thought I would post a few so as to show the progress of the pregnancy. I'm getting a bit large, haha. I get down and can't get back up!! I still have a ways to go in the hottest part of the summer so I dread that. I can't wait to see the baby and that is what keeps me motivated. So we will press onward and count down the days until miss Hallie makes her appearance:)

The Bryants

Well today was our wedding day. Today Kyle and I became one. I have waited for this day seems like forever. We were actually late to our own wedding..haha. When we got there everyone else had already arrived...but I just had to get my hair fixed! We didn't plan a big wedding or really invite anyone. We just wanted to say our vows and get it over with. We had the ceremony performed at Concord Church...outside. We actually walked down to the creek and did it creekside. It was so pretty there and very peaceful. My best friend Heather was my witness and Kyle's best friend Jason was his. We had my sweet cousin Heather take the pics. Other than that it was the preacher, Heather's kids, and Jaylee there...no one else. As I stood there looking into Kyle's eyes I knew this was FOREVER. He is the most awesome guy I have ever met. I stood there and memories began to flood my brain. I remembered the first day I saw him at Joy's house, the first night he came to my house (and held me while I cried over mom), the night he proposed sitting on our bed, the nights he got up out of bed and helped me change and care for mom, the look in his eyes when he gazes at me....so many more memories....too many to mention. I just felt in my heart that he was sent to me. I wasn't looking for him when he found me. I really had decided to just quit and give up on ever finding true love and happiness. When I reached that point he came into my life. I remember a conversation we once had. We were really talking about love and life. I had expressed how I had been hurt so many times and I was just scared. He took my hands in his, looked into my eyes, and said I promise...if you fall I will catch you. He did just that and he has carried me since then. He has been my stability, my rock, my best friend, and now he is my husband. I look forward to sharing the rest of our lives together. I look forward to sharing everything with him and raising our daugther together. I really couldn't ask for a better man to be my husband. He proved to me that there really are still good guys in this world. A man that cares about his family and friends more than he does himself....that is Kyle. I don't know why things happen in this life. I will never be able to explain the sadness or chaos of life but I know that when he entered my world it made those things seem so small. For all the sadness I have endured Kyle was my gift. I love him with all of my heart and soul!!

Kiss me and you shall see stars, love me and I'll give them to you.

Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

Love is known best by the blind, for it is meant to be known by the heart, not by the eyes.


Love is patient, love is kind, love never ends.

A Big Scare

Tonight I started having some cramping and bleeding. Kyle and I took off to the hospital. They admitted me overnight and ran some tests. They also did another ultrasound just to check on the baby. Turns out we are okay just have to go on bedrest for awhile. The placenta being so low can cause things like this to happen. Doesn't change the fact that I am worried sick now! I'm afraid to move actually. I was so scared we were going to lose the baby. Guess things are going to have to change at home. I have been pulling at mom and trying to take care of her plus taking care of the house and chasing all of the kids. The daily grind at my house is a bit crazy. I'm sure things will be okay...just gotta stay positive.

Summer Days

Summer Sun by Robert Louis Stevenson
Great is the sun, and wide he goes
Through empty heaven with repose;
And in the blue and glowing days
More thick than rain he showers his rays.

Though closer still the blinds we pull
To keep the shady parlour cool,
Yet he will find a chink or two
To slip his golden fingers through.

The dusty attic spider-clad
He, through the keyhole, maketh glad;
And through the broken edge of tiles
Into the laddered hay-loft smiles.

Meantime his golden face around
He bares to all the garden ground,
And sheds a warm and glittering look
Among the ivy's inmost nook.

Above the hills, along the blue,
Round the bright air with footing true,
To please the child, to paint the rose,
The gardener of the World, he goes.

Oh those long summer days! I love to sit and just think back to when I was young and free! When I was a kid we ran the neighborhood from sun up to sun down. Our parents didn't have to worry about someone grabbing us. The only time we went in was to eat and to go to bed. We would ride our bikes to town to get slushies and gum. The gas station down the road had those cool pretend candy cigarettes and paper dolls!! I bought those once a week. We would put on our bathing suits and play in sprinklers or knee high pools. We played hide and seek and freeze tag at dusk until bedtime. Certain nights we just threw up a tent and everyone slept under the stars. Time stood still on those days of summer! I just wish they could have never ended! I had my parents, my brother, my sense of security. Now being an adult having to be responsible and pay bills just sucks. I wanna run free again...be young again. I posted a couple pics of my girls enjoying summer and being kids. I hope they cherish these days as much as I did!

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

It is April and the weather here is gorgeous! The kids love to play outside and I love to sit outside and be lazy!! Making memories is the perfect thing to do every chance you get! Love the pic of Jay and her friend Madison being silly girls. Takes me back....way back! I sure miss those days when I was young and didn't have a care in the world. Life has changed so much for me. Getting older is really sad but at least I am still alive and healthy. I do love to watch my kids enjoy being kids.

pregnancy woes

Well I had an ultrasound today....not good news. I found out that once again I have placenta previa. This is where your placenta attatches to your uterine wall way too low. This can cause several problems including preterm labor and hemmorrhage. I had the same thing with my third child Jaylee. At my final ultrasound in my nine month it at moved up so I was blessed. The end result if no changes is delivery with a c-section. I don't want that so lets keep our fingers crossed it moves up before time. I am on partial bedrest....not very strict. Just can't lift anything over 5lbs and have to take frequent bed breaks and naps. Yeah right....breaks in my house? That is not happening. There are way too many kids running around and constant mayhem going on....oh well. Lets just see how this goes.

Mom's Birthday...a true miracle

Well today is my mom's 67th birthday! I am so blessed to have her here to celebrate it. After all we have been through in the last year since her wreck we deserve a day like today. She forgets it is her birthday every few minutes as she does other things but at least she is here. She has come such a long way especially physically. We are pretty sure her memory isn't ever going to be back to normal but that is something we will deal with. I just want her to enjoy what she does have and I want her to know she is loved. The journey we traveled together is one that has taught me many life lessons and especially not to take life for granted. I called some of the family and her friends and planned a surprise party for her. It was a great turnout with lots of food and presents. She hopefully knows how much she is loved. Happy Birthday mom!