Sadness

Today has been one of the worst days I have had in awhile. I knew when I rolled out of bed it wasn't going to be a good day. Just seems things started off wrong and then it snowballed out of control. I had planned to go shopping today for Jay's 10th birthday which is in a couple of weeks. I couldn't even get out the door for poor Hallie puking on her self and her clothes. She was so fussy and cried literally all day long. On the way to Bowling Green I was kinda in a hurry to get to my appointment at the car dealership. I didn't even realize how fast I was going until I saw the blue lights in the mirror....yay me! Now I gotta choke up 175 freakin dollars for a speeding ticket. At the dealership I learn that the hub cap that flew off of my tire couldn't be put back on due to some stupid reason the guy came up with. He told me I would have to order a new one which is almost 100 dollars....even though they just POP ON! Oh, so mine for some odd reason won't pop back on?? Yeah right. Nice way to go Mr. dealership guy....take me for some money. Hallie is still crying...bottle....diaper change.....kisses.....still crying. My 19 year old bi polar child decides to have a melt down over the fact that I am not rich enough to go out and buy her a car for her birthday which is in three weeks as well. I am a worthless mom who won't let her live her own life....although she can't even get a job to buy her own car. I continue my hunt for a vanity for Jay....which turns up empty. Evidently no one makes these cute little things anymore. I can't find the rainboots she wants either....after scowering at least 20 stores. I realize at last minute that I am not going to make it home in time to get Jaylee off the bus so I freak out and call the school. I have to make arrangements for them to keep her until I can get back to pick her up. Hallie...still crying. The smell in the van....horrible. Pull over on interstate....poop everywhere. Hal has managed to explode through her clothes and onto the car seat. Wow... Now back to get Jay and then Wal mart for groceries. Big mistake. My two daughters 9 and 19 decide to have a major battle in the parking lot. There is screaming, crying, fingers pointing....and a crowd is gathering. I have other moms looking at me like I have just won terrible mom of the year award. I am now waiting on child protective services to sweep in and take them away. Hallie....still screaming. Middle of walmart Jaylee yelps "Hallie just projectile vomited all over her self and me!!!! Great now we need to change clothes...again. My feet are hurting and my back is having multiple spasms. Sarah decides to have another meltdown because according to her I baby Jaylee all of the time. She takes off on her own making faces at me as she walks away. Can I please just go home? At home no one wants to help get the groceries out of the van, the baby is still crying, and I am having a breakdown. Sarah is telling me how much she hates me, Jaylee is crying cause she has homework she does not understand, and I realize the dog has been in her crate all day and is sitting in a puddle of urine. Okay, so I give up. Forget the dishes in the sink, the bottles that need to be sterilized, the laundry that is climbing the walls, the two discussions I need to post for school, the dog that reaks of urine, the screaming kids.....I am going to hibernate. I go to my room, shut the door, fall on the bed, and I cry. I cry like a baby because I miss my daddy, I miss my mom, I feel defeated, I am a horrible mother, I have no one to call....and the baby has pooped again. Calgon please take me away!!