Moving Day

Well today we are moving to Barren County. I am so thankful to be getting a bigger place. Now there will be plenty of room for mom and for Jaylee to have her own space. I know it is gonna be a bit difficult to keep up with the new bills and especially rent but we have to do this. I want everyone to be comfortable. The new place has plenty of room and it is a beautiful home. I've never had hardwood floors before so I am looking forward to that. Unfortunately I can't do any of the moving snce I"m pregnant but I can at least still unpack and decorate. Keeping it short and sweet since I have so much to do!

time to catch up!

Gosh, it seems I haven't written in ages. I guess life just gets too busy sometimes. I have been totally exhausted here lately. Went to see my baby doctor yesterday. The baby's heart beat was 150 and very strong. He says now that I'm in my second trimester things should be smooth sailing. Well, all I can say is how about we switch bodies until August?? I did finally pass the point of vomiting everyday and having uncontrollable nausea. However, I am still as moody as can be and tired as ever. I feel much better in the early morning but by afternoon I am ready for napping. I posted an ultrasound pic which was taken several weeks ago. I'm excited because Kyle and I scheduled an appointment at Precious View to have a 4D ultrasound on March 4th. We will finally know for sure what we are having. I did the at home intelligender test and it said we are expecting a baby boy. I guess we will see if they are right. Mom, btw, is doing pretty good after her surgery. The doc took out her NG tube yesterday and she is able to have liquids now. We are hoping she will be able to come home in a week. She has been more like herself since the surgery. I'm so thankful to God for sparing her. The last week or so I have fought my depression tooth and nail. I have missed my dad terribly. I went to the cemetary the other night because it is where I feel the closest to him. I have been feeling him around here lately...crazy?? I don't know. I guess it is due to the fact that the anniversary of his death is in March. He will have been gone two years on March 11th and my brother will have been gone 22 years on March 25th. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you will get over it because you don't. I miss them both and wonder how life would be if they were here with me. Kyle tries so hard to help me through the depression. Last night he called me back to the bedroom where he had lit 50 candles all around the room. He told me how much I meant to him and just laid beside me. He is a miracle in my life. It's funny how you look back on your life and the mistakes you made. The struggles you faced all seem worth it now that someone has come into your life to make it a much happier place. He puts my happiness before his own. I have never met a man like that (except my dad and brother) in my life. Well, we are supposed to start moving next week. I am so excited to get out of here and start over so to speak. A new house and a new life. It has been super stressful trying to pack. I feel the house is in shambles right now and my OCD is driving me crazy, lol. I just have to say that I am a total wreck right now but I am so happy with the people in my life. Kyle and my kids are my reason for smiling and I will continue to smile no matter what. Hmmm, I guess I have rattled enough for one day. I need to get off here and start some laundry.....since it is climbing the walls. Much Love....Peace, Love, and Daisies!!

Feeling Blessed

Today has been a very long and exhausting day. However, once again I am reminded how much God loves me and how he is still working miracles in my life. For six long months I have taken care of my mom. I have bathed her, changed her dressings, and changed a colostomy bag 4-6 times daily because of the leakage. I can't say that everyday was a good one or that I didn't get extremely upset at times. I can't say that their wasn't times that I stood over her bed crying like a two year old because I was so tired and just didn't want to go on anymore. I asked God sometimes why he let her live just so she could lay and suffer. Her life had no quality but she still had such a fight in her. I have been shot in the foot so many times by health care professionals since July. I begged for help from everyone and no one seemed to care. It isn't fun when you are the only one that is there to do it all. I am hoping today puts us a few steps forward. I know I witnessed a miracle on July 10th 2010....I saw my mom pull through a motor vehicle accident that should have by mans knowledge killed her. 22 broken ribs, a broken pelvis, broken femur, broken tibia, broken knee, both arms broken, broken spine, massive brain bleed, lacerated spleen which caused her to lose all of the blood in her body, and a perforated colon. Wow, and not to mention two episodes of cardiac arrest. 24 hours to live. Man knows nothing. Over the past 6 months she has endured so very much....and continued to fight. Today, a very dedicated surgeon took my mom's life into his hands and put her colon back together....something the docs at Vandy told us would never happen. The surgery lasted four hours but in the end she no longer had the leaky bag hanging from her side. She is in a lot of pain tonight but she knows her life will now have some quality to it. She no longer has to stay in bed or in the recliner and she can go out in public. She was unable to do anything due to the bag constantly leaking and having to be changed. I can now see a light at the end of the tunnel. I witnessed yet another miracle today. She was supposed to go to ICU after the surgery but she was doing so well that they put her in a regular room on the floor. Her fight never ceases to amaze me. I have experienced a lot of heartache in my lifetime but through those I got to know true heroes. People who fought to live. I watched my brother survive three years with leukemia after being given 3 weeks. I saw my dad survive 10 years after being told he would never make it two years with his heart, and now I've seen my mom fight and survive after they gave her 24 hours to live. I thank God for giving me such wonderful, strong, and determined people in my life. I am grateful for the journey I have been given.