Kyle

This is Kyle....he is such a sweetie. I met him through my cousin Joy....so I have her to thanks for the happiness I have found that I never thought I would have again. I should have posted about him sooner but I wanted to wait a bit to see how things would be. I didn't want to jinx a good thing. Kyle makes me smile, laugh, feel alive and love life.........he gives me hope. I am hoping God put him in my life for a reason. I guess time will tell but I have a strong feeling he is my soul mate.

Chase

I would like for you to meet Chase Storm Sanders.....he is my new 3month old Boston Terrier. He is totally awesome. I am an animal lover and always have been but Chase has stolen my heart. He came into my life right when I needed him. People take for granted the unconditional love an animal can bring into your life. He follows my every step and he cuddles with me at bedtime. I took him today to get his shots and he did great until we got half way home!!! I looked at him and his eyes were swollen together and he was vomiting all over my car. I had to rush him back and he was having a reaction to the vaccine. They had to give him two shots of benadryl. Scared the life out of me. He is completely back to normal now and all cuddled up next to his mommy!!! Love you Chase.

Home? Wow

Hello guys...sorry I haven't written in days. I have been so busy with everything that I barely have time to sit down. I got to bring mom home last Friday which took a lot of begging and pleading. The doctor finally agreed since I'm a nurse and can do everything here that she needs. Whew....it has been a handful. I now have four kids instead of three!! I have to get up and get the kids ready for school and then it's on to mom. I get her bath, change her dressings, give her meds, and then get her up. I have to clean the house and do the laundry in between and then get something cooked for everyone to eat. This is a full time job. I think the only love I get is from cocoa my little cat. She loves me to the point of driving me crazy. She sleeps on my hip or stomach and if I get a chance to sit down she is up in my face....hence the allergies that are ravaging my body right now. I took four benadryl last night just to breathe. I have a ton of things to get done but me being a woman I am finding it difficult to get done. I have a porch swing that has just taken up residence on my front porch....but not hanging just sitting there. I need my doorknobs changed out and my carpets shampooed. So much to do so little time to learn how to do them, lol. On a good note me and my cousin Joy are planning a little get me outta the house celebration tomorrow evening. We are planning on going to eat and then we are getting a tattoo. Mine is in thanks to God for keeping my mom safe in his arms throughout this tragedy. I'm gonna have the word believe written across my wrist. Okay now that I have wasted 10minutes of my life writing this (all because Jesse needs something to read) I will get up and continue my daily chores. Peace, Love, and Happiness to all!!

Ready To Run

I haven't blogged in days...I really haven't had the time or been the least bit inspired to do so. My days are all running together now. My mom is completely off of the vent which is a blessing. However, she is talking now and I am seeing that there is damage to her brain which is causing memory loss and confusion. It is so sad to have to tell her 3 and 4 times a day that daddy is gone. I have to remind her she hasn't worked in years and that her mom passed away years ago. She is so pitiful. I am so exhausted and I don't have too many people I can depend on. I have learned so much about people during this tragedy. I have learned that you have to fully rely on yourself and not to depend on anyone else. I have lost my job, not seen my kids in two months, fallen behind on all of my bills, and most of all I have "lost" who my mom was. I miss her. I can't get her to eat so they have replaced her feeding tube. I see her just withering away daily. I tell myself everyday that God didn't bring us this far to just abandon us. I don't know....maybe my faith is being tried. I just feel so alone. No one to talk to and share my feelings. Not saying I haven't had any help because I have. If it wasn't for my cousin Joy...then Jaylee would be lost. She is taking such good care of her. My aunt Joyce has pulled for me every step of the way....and I have had people that you would least expect to send me money to help out. It's those that I thought would stand by me that hasn't that has broken my heart. Well that's what life is about...it's all a learning experience. I have made myself a promise through this...I will be a better person and I will try to help others when they are in need. I will make it through this by the grace of God and the help that those who truly love us are willing to give.