Tragedy Is Just A Part Of Life

So, once again I haven't been on here like I would like to be. This is the only way I have of venting my frustrations and feelings. I am having a hard time dealing with mom. It seems like her confusion is getting worse...not better like they claimed it would. I can't get her colostomy to keep from leaking thanks to a shotty surgeon. I am planning on finding a surgeon tomorrow to see if it can be fixed. Mom decided she could walk two days ago and fell out of the bed. Made me feel like a worthless daughter. She gets so angry with me and vents on me. I am doing all I can. I get up at the crack of dawn and give her a bath, give her meds, and change all of the dressings. I get her up and take her in the living room and fix her breakfast and coffee. I have to take her to the bathroom which is a hour long chore in itself. I change that bag at least 3-4 times a day which means she gets several baths. She has decided she doesn't wanna go to bed at night so I'm not sleeping ever. I have realized how much worse my depression has gotten but I can't do anything about it. Since I lost my job I have no insurance and I can't get to the doctor. I can't leave the house because she can't be alone. Just seems my life has done a 360. I know it has to get better...it just does. It wouldn't be as hard if I had support...my support group now is Aunt Joyce, Joy, Jean (part time) and my girlfriends. I just want everyone to know depression is so real and it will eat away at you if you let me. Fight it and overcome it.